“Oof” was the sound I made as I hit the ground after tripping. The fall had been a hard one and the wind was completely knocked out of me. From down there on the ground, amidst 3 dozen broken eggs and groceries strewn about, I thought to myself “Really? Why me?”
Those that are close to me know that the last nine months or so of my life haven’t exactly been a walk in the park. At the beginning of this year, when John and I sat together to plan out our goals, little did we know how many dozens, if not hundreds, of roadblocks we’d have to overcome in the following months.
Shortly after our goal setting, I became very sick, plagued with GI issues to the point where I could eat nothing without pain. I struggled for days, and those days turned into weeks, and those weeks turned into months. I had dozens of doctors appointments, numerous days where I’d force myself just to get out of bed, trouble even swallowing food, frustrations galore, and every day seemed to be a new battle against exhaustion. As you can imagine, it became really hard to just do my day to day, let alone work on our goals. However, I strove to do at least one small task towards our goals each and every day, despite how I was feeling.
Aside from my health issues, there were so many other speed bumps that popped up each week. Bad news, travel stress and headache, work issues, extra bills that we hadn’t accounted for, medical expenses, and the list goes on and on. Despite all of these things, John and I kept plugging along, keeping our end goals in sight and trying to stay positive. We strove to always see the good, even in bad situations, and every time I’d feel down, I’d remind myself that it could be so much worse, and focus on being positive.
Needless to say, it’s been rough. It’s been a roller coaster of a year, with major accomplishments and major setbacks, a hell of a learning experience, and has brought us to breaking point and back on more than one occasion. But through everything, here we were, just plugging along, day by day, breaking huge goals into small accomplishments, and getting shit done.
Which brings me to last week, with thoughts of “Why me” running through my head. Having tripped on a screw that had been left in the sidewalk from an abandoned newsstand, I fell hard, with the weight of the two large shopping bags I had been carrying adding to the mayhem. I went down like a ton of bricks, my face smashing into the car to break my fall. John, who was inside the car, thought he’d been hit by another vehicle while parked, but when he looked around, all he could see outside of the car were people running to help me.
I struggled to my feet, blood oozing out of the fresh wounds in my knees, arms scraped, back and neck twisted, and felt pissed. I was angry at the dumbass who had left that screw in the ground. I was angry that I was hurt due to someone else’s stupidity. I was angry that my yoga pants ripped (livid, actually). And overall, I was discouraged that despite all I’ve been through, life just keeps handing me lemon after lemon. Let me tell you people, by the end of this year I’m going to have one hell of a delicious batch of lemonade.
While comforting me as we waited for the police to show up, John said, “Wow babe, the world really has a tendency to kick you while you’re down, doesn’t it?” Tell me about it.
How many times have you felt that way? When you thought things simply couldn’t get any worse, yet somehow, they always seem to before things get better. It’s that “rock bottom” type of situation. However, as thoughts of “why me” raged through my head, I began reminding myself of things I was thankful for. I was thankful my cheekbone took the weight of my fall and not my nose. I’m thankful it wasn’t an elderly or pregnant person to have tripped over those screws. I’m thankful I wasn’t hurt worse. And as always, I’m thankful to be alive.
Today, while thinking about my fall and how discouraged I felt right after it, an enormous wave of accomplishment and positive thoughts flooded my mind. The feeling was so great it actually brought tears to my eyes. Despite what has seemed like an endless battle day after day, curveballs being thrown at us from every direction, and hundreds of speed bumps posing challenges along the way, I. am. SO. accomplished.
We have stuck to our goals, even if the progress was minimal on a day-to-day basis. We have persevered continually. Our relationship is stronger than it’s ever been (what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right?). And we’ve accomplished even more in the last eight months than we would have ever thought possible when writing down our goals at the start of this year. I’ve honestly mind blown myself. And I feel really, really good about it.
So here’s to all of you, my friends. I hope that despite whatever comes your way, you can beat it. I know you can beast through and keep at it, so when all is said and done, you can look back on yourself and how you handled the situations and feel GOOD. I know that if I had spent the last 8 months in bed, or depressed, or given up on my goals because of being too tired, that I would have been wickedly disappointed in myself. But I’m not. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Although I still struggle daily, I can look back at January and see how far I’ve come. It gives me hope and inspiration to keep persevering. And to be honest, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’m proud of myself, and I’m proud of you too. I hope you can always persevere and keep at your goals. I’m always here to chat, and I know we can do this together!
To goals, perseverance, and tossing those curveballs right back where they came from, cheers. Cheers with a giant glass of beautiful, refreshing lemonade.