So the other day when driving (or rather not driving) in stop dead traffic, I happened to glance in my rear-view mirror and was very startled, and a bit grossed out, when I noticed the woman behind me having a drink out of a baby’s bottle. Now, I found this extremely strange considering she was in a beautiful brand-new looking convertible, and I was wondering why she couldn’t afford buying herself a water bottle at a rest stop or gas station or something instead of suckling liquid out of a plastic rubbery nipple. To be honest, I don’t care how thirsty someone is, there is no excuse for sucking your beverage out of a bottle that has a pseudo body part identical to the ones on your chest.

There is no excuse for sucking your beverage out of a bottle that has a pseudo body part identical to the ones on your chest.

And that brings us to another issue- what was in this bottle?  Because, would she really go through the hassle of filling the bottle up with water, juice, or another beverage that an adult may enjoy consuming (perhaps it was milk – haha), or do we conclude that this woman was so thirsty that she was in fact indulging in her own child’s baby formula? Mind you, however, that in her immaculate convertible there was no sign of any baby paraphernalia – no car seat, no toys, not even a lost children’s sock… the only item that indicated she may have a child was the bottle that she was so enjoyably indulging in. And if in fact she was a lesbian, or woman who enjoyed female body parts, what would possess her to drink from a bottle, on a highway, in a convertible, in stop-dead traffic; as much of a turn on as it may be if she enjoyed that sort of thing. So, I guess the point of this little story is, don’t drink your beverage our of a baby bottle in case it grosses out the people around you… even if they are trying to mind their own business and somehow end up with their eyes glued to the rear view mirror trying to mentally come to a reasonable conclusion for your actions.

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